Nov 26, 2004
Nov 25, 2004
Recently, I ordered a new bed from IKEA. I will be notified by the delivery company when they are ready to give me an approximate date of delivery. At that point I will know, give or take a few days, the general date when I can expect to have a bed. Except for the occasional business trip to a hotel, I have not slept in a bed for over a year. I've been sleeping like Persian royalty of yesteryear—on the floor.
Now, just because I ordered a bed, that does not mean I can sleep in it right away. I'll have to order a mattress and box spring. Hopefully, I will get that accomplished in a more expedient manner. The floor has its charms, of course, but I tire of the experience to the point where I long for the days when I caught my z's on an Aerobed.
Aerobeds are comfortable and they seem futuristic. Years ago, when I lived in Manhattan and worked at Xanga, I used an Aerobed as my permanent bed because I convinced myself that it was superior to an old-fashioned mattress. After all, its not filled with billions of mattress mites. Theoretically.
"Mattresses are heavy, cumbersome, and filled with all kinds of junk." I told myself. Imagined conspiracy theories left me with questions. "Why are you required to buy a 'box spring' to go with it? What is that supposed to be, a foundation? What a scam." Also, I once saw an exposé about mattresses alleging that they are often filled with all kinds of suspiciously recycled stuffings.
To their credit, Aerobeds are quite ingenious. They're made out of some kind of strong, lightweight, space-age polymer—you just press a button to inflate them and it’s really fun to lay on it while its inflating. Unless of course you're too busy with your social life or important things to try that, like me.
Late night television had me completely sold. I mean, Aerobeds are available in twin, full, or queen size and they come with a light-blue fitted mattress pad that says "aero" all over it. It takes only a minute to inflate—just plug it in and go. Once its inflated, you can adjust the firmness by touching a button that releases air slowly to your preference. The touch of a button!
I slept on an aerobed every night for more than a year. They deflate easily, just open the release hatch, roll it up, and stuff it inside the duffel bag that comes with it. The bag has a shoulder strap on it so you can sling it over your shoulder for an overnight trip or just hang it up in the closet. It was quite convenient for saving space in a two grand a month, four hundred square foot apartment.
Still, it was risky. There was always the looming threat—the potential piercing of the Aerobed was a real possibility. What might happen in the middle of the night? Visions of the Hindenburg disaster flickered through my dreams. I would wake up and tell myself. "Its okay, Aerobed comes with an emergency patch kit. And there's only nominal amounts of hydrogen molecules inside." Thankfully, I never had to worry about over-inflating. Some kind of automatic regulatory system addressed that issue.
The best thing about sleeping on the Aerobed was the knowledge that when Godzilla came to Manhattan to fight the giant Mattress Mite—inevitably causing a giant tsunami and deluging New York City—I could float to safety on my futuristic space mattress. The thing is, that never happened. What did happen was I moved to Los Angeles for a while and adopted Brewster (a cat). He popped that sucker and I never patched it.
Nowadays, its all neither here nor there. No longer do I concern myself with box spring conspiracies and this I know: When Godzilla comes to San Francisco he will be so busy wrecking the Golden Gate Bridge he'll be too winded to climb Potrero Hill. So I'll be safely sleeping in my Noresund. That's the name of the IKEA bed. Not futuristic, I know. However, it does sound kind of viking like. Which is nice.
Nov 24, 2004
Nov 23, 2004
Nov 22, 2004
Nov 19, 2004
Nov 18, 2004
Nov 16, 2004
Nov 15, 2004
- Sayid - Lawful Good
- Jack - Lawful Good
- Hurley - Chaotic Good
- Shannon - Lawful Neutral
- Sawyer - Chaotic Neutral*
- Walt - Lawful Good
- Jin - Lawful Evil
- Sun - Lawful Good
- Kate - Chaotic Good
- Charlie - Chaotic Good
- Locke - Chaotic Neutral
- Michael - Lawful Good
- Boone - Lawful Good
Okay, so now that you have the alignments, watch LOST on Wednesday, November 17th at 8pm on ABC - my friend Greg Yaitanes directed the episode and he has assured me that this particular episode is "pretty juicy." Not sure what that means exactly. Do they find some Tropicana Homestyle on the island? I'm gonna tune in and find out.
*Livy thinks Sawyer is Chaotic Evil but I'm giving him the benefit of the doubt.
Nov 12, 2004
Nov 11, 2004
An explaination of the phrase. (Sort of.)
by Biz Stone
There is no mall in the snobby suburb of Wellesley, Massachusetts. To visit the cineplex, shop for the holidays, or buy in bulk, one must drive to the next town. That town is Natick. Route 9 is the quickest way to go. You can’t take this route without passing under a particular bridge. This bridge spans the town line between Wellesley and Natick and it’s the nexus that is the origin of a phrase which will soon make its way into permanent American vernacular speech.
When I attended Wellesley High school in the 1990s, many students subscribed to the idea that the residents of Natick had "big hair," drove only beaten-up Pontiac Trans-Ams, and rocked exclusively to the band Aerosmith. This is just how it was. They were asses.
On the Wellesley side of the aforementioned bridge, someone—in a fit of Aerosmithian enrapture—spraypainted the words, "Aerosmith Rocks Natick" in big, drippy capitals. You couldn’t drive to Natick without reading "Aerosmith Rocks Natick." You didn’t see it driving the other way, but going from Wellesley to Natick you were reminded every time that, in fact, "Aerosmith Rocks Natick." And what is wrong with that, pray tell?
Some years later, I recalled the bridge. I imagined that the author of the phrase had an overwhelming gusto for both the band Aerosmith and the town of Natick—two great tastes that taste great together. It is at this point that you, gentle reader, must make a leap of faith.
Somehow, I reasoned that if I replaced the word "Aerosmith" with any other word but kept the "Natick" part of the phrase intact, it would work towards recapturing the original level of enthusiasm the author felt when he or she created the masterpiece. If you don't believe me, try it yourself. Say, "I don't care what anybody thinks, I rock Natick." See? Don't you already feel like you could kick some wicked pissa ass at the local Dunkin' Donuts?
I began using the phrase for related scenarios and soon discovered that a fellow alumni of Wellesley High, Greg Yaitanes was also using the adapted phrase. In fact, he was using it profusely in his professional life it was serving him well. This only encouraged me to use it with greater frequency and it has served me well too. I highly recommend the phrase. It rocks Natick.
Nov 10, 2004
Somebody recently emailed me to ask how I got the name "Biz" and it occurred to me that people who stray over to my blog from a web search for "how to design a book cover" might wonder how I got the name. Or at least think to themselves, "Biz Stone, Genius? Stupid name. What a jerk."
How I Came To Be Called Biz
The name on my passport is "Christopher Isaac Stone." When I was a wee lad I tried to phonetically emulate the name my father—an auto mechanic with a Boston accent—called me. To my not-quite-yet-formed ear technology, it sounded very much like "Biz-ah-bah."
It wasn’t until many years later (okay, this year) that I realized why my parents would ask me my name and then laugh when I told them. I just figured I was a damn funny kid. Natural comedian.
So over the years, the "Biz-ah-bah" was shortened to the modern "Biz." I think it was third grade when the information went public. I had a birthday party and my mom said something like, "Okay Biz, time to open presents." George Donovan overheard it and I lost my copyright to the public domain.
Here’s Where It Gets a Little Complicated
My father is also named Christopher. When my parents separated, my mom didn’t want to hear the name of "himself" any more than she needed to, so she asked if it was okay if teachers and other officials referred to me as "Isaac." It didn’t make that much difference to me at the time because I was already used to Biz. Plus, the PH in Christopher threw me every once in a while. What? I was hooked on phonics.
So the Situation Nowadays Is This
Everybody calls me Biz—for casual intents and purposes it’s my name. But I ask employers to make checks payable to "Isaac Stone" and I use that name for most of my official paperwork like phone bills and secret government missions. Sometimes I tell people my name is Isaac when I just don’t feel like explaining why my name is Biz.
My mother tells people that it’s short for Elizabeth.
Nov 9, 2004
Busses are designed to haul passengers. Semi trucks are designed to haul cargo. Why then, do we haul air-freight using aircraft originally designed for passengers? It's time to re-design.
Air Freight Now
There are currently two solutions for shipping products overseas: cargo planes and cargo ships. Shipping by plane is fast but very expensive. Shipping by boat is cheap but slow. There is no in-between (yet).
Most current "freight" aircraft were originally designed to transport people. Passenger aircraft requires more expensive features such as high speed, long runways, high altitude, pressurized environment, windows, exits, and docking capabilities. This all adds to cost.
Parcel is light. So even when a commercial airplane is packed full with parcel, it has not reached it's weight potential. It's important for freight companies to get the maximum out of every flight. They can't do this because current planes are not designed for parcel transport--all the major airframe manufacturers are focused on passenger transport.
The New Air Freight
Make room for the hybrids. Lighter-than-air crafts (LATs) are giant airships filled with helium gas. The helium (an inert gas) creates enough static lift to displace the weight of the cargo leaving only the weight of the craft to the dynamic lift--the wings.
With payloads measured in the thousands of tons, conservative cruising speeds of 150mph at 10,000 feet, and engineering that meets the needs of air freight--not tourists--these new monsters of the sky will glide smoothly and quietly in to take over the industry.
These hybrid static/dynamic lift behemoths will be the coveted third solution: cheaper than a jet and faster than a boat.
These rethought sky-trucks will be designed for immediate integration with current cargo shipping infrastructures. Built with existing aircraft tools and technology and with the ability to take off from a standard, medium sized runway and haul the same intermodel containers currently used with trucks, trains, and ships, the new hybrids will fit right in. They'll land in a conventional airport, detach their entire cargo bay for a fast delivery, slide onto another, pre-loaded bay and take off again.
Life After Freight?
Once these hybrids become the accepted third form of cargo shipping, they may be developed for other uses. Commercial travel via hybrid will be cheaper than airplanes and faster than land travel--as well as safer and quieter. Individual hybrids may be developed for special uses, possibly setting off a personal transportation revolution.
So if you see me flying over your house in my personal static/dynamic lift hybrid on my way to my next Genius Convention, don't be alarmed. It's only the future.
Nov 8, 2004
Nov 6, 2004
Nov 5, 2004
Nov 4, 2004
The reviewer (whoever he or she is) thinks that I emulate "the worst qualities of many of the unpolished blogs" I celebrate. Again with the blog bashing. But the funniest part of this quick post—I mean professionally written anonymous blurb—is the part that says my writing is "terminally in love with its own hipness."
You better check your hip-dar buddy because that deal is broke. In what universe does a book called Who Let The Blogs Out? with a forward by Wil Wheaton come anywhere near hip? Maybe I should put up a bounty to find out who wrote the review like this guy did. Hey Evhead, can I borrow some cash? It's for a good cause: revenge.
Update: Shite. I just remembered that the back of my book says it is a "hip and helpful reference." Whatevah, those PW guys are still suckas.