This just in: Important information about underpants. Take note.

Metafilter users formed an elite squad to help break this case. They zoomed in on images to discover a logo on a gym floor that they traced to a high school in Kansas, they checked the web for death certificates, all kinds of secret spy stuff. Nice.

I just got this email:

Dear Candidate,


You were recently selected by The Office of The Managing Director for a free listing on The International Executive Guild's CD-ROM.


Little do they know, that I know, various things that they don't think I know.

We watched Richard Donner's 1978 epic about the Man of Steel, Superman - The Movie the other night. The DVD has screen tests with Reeves and all the different women they tried for Lois Lane. It's skinny Superman with sweaty pits in a costume his mom made him! Ah, the magic of the special edition.

Blogs, eProps, Blogrings... Pure American Talk Here! elorraine at Written by Me has discovered Xanga.

Note to self: Safety locks on new car can be used to trick slow witted enemies into thinking doors are mysteriously impenetrable unless approached from the 9th dimension.

I've got my signed copy of Molly E. Holzschlag's Short Order HTML 4. Now my multi-faceted, web-related, highly-secret, genius-agenda can continue at a newly redoubled speed. Take note.

Biz Stone: Vegan Genius. A little essay I whipped up this morning for anyone interested or confused about what it means to be Vegan.

Felt is much more than a schoolroom supply. Livia will show you.

TiVo Secures Key Patents. Nice! Check out my review of Tivo.

We watched Miss Congeniality last night. Great movie! I'm liking Sandra Bullock more and more and Michael Caine always cracks me up.

Email posting is live at Xanga.com! Set up a special number or have Xanga generate one for you and you can email your blog entries from any email. It's retro-futuristic!

Recent studies at Genius Labs suggest that criminals in prison are like dishes in the sink. "Sometimes a dish is not that dirty, possibly only having been used as a temporary resting place for a cookie or cracker, but it gets placed in the sink with far greasier and food-ish plates. As a result, the only-slighty-dirty plate takes on a similar degree of filth. So it is with imprisonment."

Andre, you fool! I thought we agreed we would never tell the truth about Metafilter. I'm disappointed, and I'm considering having you taken off the other project. Matt, we're still on for drinks later, right?

I just wrote a little essay about Keeping a Professional Blog. It's very professional, as am I.

The New York Post reports that William Shatner will host an American version of Iron Chef. I thought Shatner was vegetarian. I'll host Vegan Chef... call UPN!

We watched Charade last night. The music and credits alone are worth it, but its a great movie too.

Amazon.co.uk: A Glance: The Triumph of Evil - "Contrary to the USA false propaganda, this book documents the fact that the USA triumph in the Cold War has increased economic suffering and wars, which are shown to be endemic to the New World Order under USA capitalist domination."

Adobe sent me Live Motion and GoLive when they sent Elements. I just cracked into LiveMotion and tried my hand at creating a Flash file. Psycho Bongo Is Coming!

Intruder alert! We had a medium-sized reptilian visitor this afternoon. He only stayed about five minutes before we encouraged him out the back door. Nice of him to stop in though.

Star Trek fans... are you sitting down? The new series is going to be called Star Trek: Enterprise and the star of the show is going to be... Scott Bakula of Quantum Leap fame. He'll play Captain Jonathan Archer. Captain of the Enterprise! How great is that!?

In a few days, we'll all be able to blog via email. We're very professional.

I just washed my car. I used two salad bowls and a purple sponge (plus water and soap). Hey, now if somebody searches Google in week or two for "two salad bowls and a purple sponge," they'll be directed to my site. Nice!

"APOLLO 11- Fact or Fantasy? Can a video documentary prove the Moon Landing really happened? What do you think? Recent Poet Laureate of the United States, Maya Angelou, commented on her belief that 75% of American teenagers do not believe anyone landed on the Moon. Have you any doubt about it? As the Moon Landing epitomizes cooperative belief, how ironic if it too were a hoax. Can you sleep at night? Do you believe what you see on your TV?  Could they have faked it? What does the Moon mean to you?"

Alien robots raided my website but it's okay now.

It's no personal airship but it is inventioneering at it's finest.

Microfiche is the wave of the future! When the whole internet "fad" dies down, we will all be using microfiche. By that time, I will be an expert in microfiche technology as well as a master of the sideways "fiche-scroll." I will have the uncanny ability to blur through page after page of The Wellesley Townsman from 1981 and stop exactly at any desired location--no matter how fast I fiche! Microfiche is coming my friends, take note. Also, I am working on getting the word out about Macrofiche--pass it on.

Remembering the ATARI 2600 Read Scott's personal Atari Stories.

Note to self: Have Pan Am Forever tattoo removed. (Keep Apple IIe Rulez! tattoo).

I'll have to keep this guy in mind.

I've taken the liberty of mocking up the future of the United States. Not shown on map: all territories follow Native American rule.

Make Your Own Air Conditioner. All you need is a styrofoam cooler, a fan, and some ice. I made one summer when I had no money and I was living in a tiny, attic-like apartment in Brookline, MA. Patent pending.

Google Search: "aerosmith rocks natick" Google rocks Natick.

I'm on hold with AT&T right now. I just learned that "In the WWF ring, no act goes unpunished!" So even if I save a falling baby, I will be punished for that act. Harsh. Also, "The adventure begins when humans evolve into mutants with special powers... watch X-Men on Cinemax!"

I don't really need the glasses. I just wear them so I look wicked-smaht. They're not really tinted either, I just tinted them so I would look wicked-pissa.

If you know anyone that could use a hosted weblog with browser-based spell check, image hosting, and "Wiz E. Wig" HTML editing, you might as well get $5 for referring them.

I finally reinstalled Illustrator so I can play with my new tablet!

My internal zip drive was bubble-wrapped, taped inside a cigar box, bubble-wrapped again inside another box, and mailed via USPS. There's a little logo on the bottom that says "do not apply pressure to this area." That's exactly where the smashing occured. It is no longer with us.

Hey, you can watch actual new looney tunes here and you can interact. Fun!

This is Bad. They might start wondering why they're attracting a slightly sketchier type of crowd.

Cool, metafilter noticed Xanga Premium!

About Xanga Premium... What about it? It's suped up blogging and it rocks Natick! Image uploads, spell check, save a half-written post, and Word-esque buttons that make you look like an HTML pro. At around $4 bucks a month, that's good stuff, even if I do say so myself! Slap a URL on top of it all and you're an instant webmaster. Nice.