Check out my review of Freeway 3 at Web Review. It's got some French massage techniques in it, you'll like it (if you're into that sort of thing).

"The Enterprise runs into a mysterious energy field of a type it has encountered several times before." Go check out 20 Things That Never Happen in Star Trek. It's funny if you like Star Trek. I love Sci Fi!

Strange. Yesterday people kept giving me merchandise that they had covered in printed paper and had bound either with colorful strings or transparent adhesive. Some even had flower-like origami sticky things on top. Everyone seemed eager for me to tear off all the paper they had obviously taken pains to put there and take note of the contents. That's not even the strangest part! It turns out that I too was a party to this strange ritual for I had several colorful parcels in my car that I handed out to everyone -- and I seemed to have had it all planned out. Weird. Could be the weather.

Last night I had a dream I was super-rich. I was showing some friends of mine around my giant mansion complex. I opened a huge door to hundreds of people running around in this giant room cleaning towels and slacks and said, "Check it out... this is my personal laundry corporation." Then we went down a vast, echoing hallway, past the tennis courts and I opened another gigantic door to a garage filled with grapefruits and said, "Look at this... it's my vast collection of grapefruits." At one point I remember, I was wearing a rich man's sweater and saying, "Check me out... I'm like Ritchie Ritch!" Then I kept on with the tour... my greenhouse, my life-size recreation of an ancient European city. It was cool!

"You look like someone who has lunched poorly and who has no expectations for dinner." "You are the swordfish that will never shower." Try out The Surrealist Compliment Generator. They're not always complimentary, but its fun!

I haven't gotten a chance to work on the personal hygene situation yet but its still on the list. Tomorrow is saturday, I'll strive to make that "clean up day 2000." But if I wait long enough, I can have "clean up day 2001." Hmmm. I'll sleep on it.

Today at the health club my close friends informed me that my general aroma was less than appealing. I asked if this was the first time they'd noticed that and I had my answer with slow and deliberate cranial movement of a lateral nature. To demonstrate that subtlety is not lost on this genius, I will see to it that I roast my garlic longer before enjoying it. That should do the trick!

The United States War Production Board asked General Electric to synthesize a cheap substitute for rubber in the 1940s. James Wright, a wacky engineer at GE, kind of veered off the path and came up with a pliant compound that didn't really do anything and wasn't actually what they had asked for. But James was obviously a genius because that "pliant compound" became Silly Putty. Americans buy more than 2 million eggs of Silly Putty per year. Imagine how much the French must buy.

The shuttle needs to land sooner rather than later because of a diminishing supply of "lye." I wouldn't have thought that lye was such an essential ingredient in space travel but I also thought that pulleys, cables, and hooks were merely archaic devices used during ancient Roman days, the Gold Rush, and the Civil War. This is heartening news though. If I can just get hold of some burnt wood, a coat hanger, and a bottle of Grade-A ammonia, I may be able to survive on the moon!

Associated Press reports that the astronauts used a "hook" to fix the "pulley." I'm sure when they say "hook," they're not talking about a curved or sharply bent piece of metal, that they used to catch, drag, or fasten the "pulley." They probably just don't want to bore us with the actual terminology for the instrument which is probably a "a nano-engineered articulation unit" or a "quantum powered imposer." That must be it. "Pulleys" and "Hooks." HA! I knew they had futuristic stuff.

I wonder if the person who invented the "pulley" intended for that to be it's permanent name.

"What does that do?"

"It helps you pull things up."

"What do you call it?"

"I don't know... a Pulley."

Anyway, Joe Tanner and Carlos Noriega are in actual SPACE right now trying to get cables back on the "Pulleys." Again, this just isn't sounding futuristic to me. When I watch movies from the seventies and eighties, they have space cars and aliens. I just watched Blade Runner the other night... I think it said 2017 and they had totally realistic androids and robot owls that looked real. What were they thinking? We're not gonna have anything futuristic until the year 8001 when they invent the "Super-Pulley."

So one of the giant solar wings didn't unfurl right, and the astronauts are gonna have to fix it. They were using helmet cams to transmit images back to the engineers but one of those busted too. If I was up there I'd email the guys back on Earth and ask if anybody double checked my air tanks and remembered to pack my lunch. Everything's all chipped and broken, not very futuristic. They should just break out the duct tape and be done with it.

I finally got the VCR I ordered from Amazon. It's inexpensive, compact, and translucent blue. I knew it was going to look iMac-ish, but I didn't know it was going to say "Kideo" on the front and make little squeaky melodies when you press play. Also, it was supposed to come with an Atari-esque racecar game built in that you play with the remote and I don't think it did. By the way, "racecar" spelled backwards is still "racecar." Amazing.

Attention fellow Sci-ficionados! Tonight is the first night of the Sci-fi channel's new miniseries, Dune. Space ships, giant sand worms, freaky bad guys, and a protagonist with suspiciously supernatural powers. I know, it sounds like a usual walk in the park for Biz Stone, Genius but I thought you might like to check it out anyway.

The guy in charge on board space shuttle Endeavour is Commander Brent Jett. That sounds like a fake space shuttle commander's name. I'll have to look into this. If you don't hear from me in few days, call NASA, act like you know something sneaky is going on, then imply that you are very high-ranking and ask to speak to me. That should do it.