Oct 31, 2000
I watched The Mummy (1951 Hammer Films) on AMC Monsterfest last night. The Mummy was actually the good guy -- the British archaeologists were graverobbing punks with no respect. Unfortunately, the Mummy only got two of 'em and the third one used his wife to trick the Mummy cause she looked like his dead girlfriend from way back when. Two out of three's not bad! Keep up the good work!
Oct 29, 2000
Ikea furniture arrived yesterday. Some assembly was required. I was having an inordinate amount of difficulty with one particular fitting until Livia's sage advice, "That looks like pretty soft material, maybe you should just manhandle it." That worked and I have no visible scars from the experience.
Oct 26, 2000
Driving through Rhode Island and talking about how smoothly we zigged down the West Side Highway to achieve our new found exo-city status, Livia realized we had left our concert tickets in Manhattan. Lucky for us, Dan Godrick rummaged our apartment and mailed them just in time so we could jam to Omara Portuondo and her 14 piece Cuban orchestra. If you ever go to Boston's Orpheum theater, disregard the seat numbers, especially if your seat seems to be the nexus of all seats and is laden with several small metal badges signifying many seats in one -- as attempting to decipher the riddle of the seat numbers may lead to a night near a physically explicative elder. Omara was great, so was Barbarito Torres the supernaturally gifted Cuban Laudist.
Oct 22, 2000
I stopped into a little bodega last night to get some cash. The cat next to the ATM was a duplicate of Livia's parents cat and it looked at me like it expected me to hook it up with some cash when I was done. Then this lady stumbled in and asked the cashier, "you got any charcoal". The cashier responded, "finest charcoal around". The lady slurred, "I don't need a whole bag, you got anything already open?" The cashier said, "yeah, come in back." Is charcoal slang for something? I stiffed the cat and cruised.
Oct 20, 2000
I bought a belt that says Quicksilver on the buckle. Many people will think this is simply a brand name, I know that it is actually the name of an invisibility gland. I need to finish fixing the wall this weekend but I'm wary about sanding a substance that says "known to cause cancer in California" on the package. Maybe if I'm wearing my invisibility belt I'll be okay.
Oct 19, 2000
Oct 17, 2000
Oct 16, 2000
Oct 13, 2000
Oct 12, 2000
It's gonna take a few days for the wall to dry, but once it does I'll have myself a bumpy, eurostyle, old-world wall. Nice! Now I just need to wait for the stuff I ordered from IKEA. I'm totally fine with my psycho-kinetic hovering while I watch TV but it freaks Livia out, she'd rather we have a sofa.
Oct 11, 2000
Oct 10, 2000
The radiator in the bedroom didn't seem to be generating optimum heat. I twisted various appropriate knobs and started getting somewhere. Then I thought I'd twist a little more -- the knob shot across the room and I suddenly had an industrial situation. Vast quantities of superheated steam blasting across the room, I felt like I was in the engine room of an old school tugboat. My first thought was, "this cannot be fixed without severe injury." That spawned a second thought, "I'll turn this spinny thing to shut it off." That worked and I live to tell the tale.
Oct 9, 2000
The landlord said I was welcome to take down the big loft in the bedroom. I don't think he said anything about bringing down most of the wall along with it but I don't remember him actually saying, "Don't crumble the wall down to bare boards so that it looks like a bombed-out war zone." I have to check and see if the hardware store sells "wall."
Oct 6, 2000
Okay, TODAY is Cable Day 2000. I hope. Phone Day 2000 is Wednesday. Weird, look at this word: Wednesday. If you look at it for a few seconds, you'd swear it must be spelled wrong. When I was in second grade I was writing something and I blanked on how to spell '"eye." I knew it wasn't spelled "i" and I knew it was something easy but I couldn't think of it. I kept thinking it had a "u" it. Anyway, I eventually remembered. Also, in fourth grade my teacher said, "Isaac, you are a little behind." I was thrown off for a few seconds until I realized she was talking about my math homework.
Oct 4, 2000
Cable Day 2000 was a bust. I waited from 2-6 pm for the cable guy. Then I kept waiting until 8:30. At that point I gave up hope and busted out the antenna so I could watch Dark Angel. So the cable guy just flat-out never showed. Maybe he's a cyborg cable guy and his posatronic net collapsed. That must be it.
Oct 3, 2000
Oct 2, 2000
Last night I used a fork, a paper clip, and a little attachy thing to jimmy rig my new tv (cable guy is coming tomorrow) so I could watch a two hour special about Antarctica. Antarctica is freaky, it's like outer space but with penguins. Also, I don't have a belt yet, so I've looped my watch through the front two belt loops -- a new invention, "MiniBelt."